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The Amends Dilemma: Living in Grace While Walking in Obedience
Amends is not about paying for sin—it is about responding to grace with humility, truth, and Spirit-led obedience.
“We do not make amends to become forgiven. We make amends because we are forgiven.”
I. THE 12-STEP MODEL
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A Fixed Posture of Dependence Before God
Philippians 2:13“God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.”
Core Definition:“We ask God to continue to sanctify us and for the grace to forgive those who have hurt us and pray for them. We also ask God to give us the grace and the courage to face the bad things we have done.”
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Theme: Repentance, healing, surrender, and transformation
1. Opening Statement
Change is not just about trying harder. In Thrive, we believe real change begins when we turn from what is broken, invite God into the wound, and allow Him to shape our future. Pillar 8 is where we stop negotiating with the old life and start asking God to do what only He can do: heal, sanctify, and transform us. This is not shallow self-improvement. This is spiritual renewal.
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Releasing the Debt Before Moving Forward
This Thrive teaching is on Extending Forgiveness. Which is our pillar #7. The Thrive philosophy follows the biblical principle of "forgive us our trespasses as we have forgiven those who trespass against us." We are instructed to forgive and Jesus taught that we should ask for forgiveness from God after we have extended forgiveness to others. So, before we deal with Pillar 8 "Ask For Change" or pillar 9 "Ask for Help" we have to remove bitterness and unforgiveness. This is a process, it takes time. Forgiveness is something that we cannot do in statement only. It is something that we must do, and do again until we really are ready to move on. If we get to "Amends" pillar 10 but there is no evidence of repentance (or change) in our life, those we seek forgiveness from, will see it as checking a…
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Pillar #7: Admit / Confess
One of the most hopeful phrases in Scripture is also one of the simplest: “and it came to pass.”Those five words remind us that what we are walking through is real, but it is not forever.
The Bible uses this phrase hundreds of times—commonly noted as about 453 times in the King James Version—and each time it points us to a powerful truth: seasons change, circumstances pass, and God remains sovereign through it all.
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Theme: Breaking the chains of shame by discovering who died and who lives.
Introduction: We often carry the weight of shame for past mistakes and past traumas and totally forget that the Bible teaches that once we are covered by the blood of Jesus we are no longer even that same person. This teaching is an exercise in talking about the past no longer in the first person but in the third person perspective. I am John. What I did was the old John. We are not the same person. It’s not a convenient "get out of jail free card" because it comes with all of the change in me that you have seen since Jesus became not just my savior but the Lord of my life.
Last Sunday, on Easter, we heard about resurrection. We heard Romans 6:3-5 preached: "Do you not know that all of us who…
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Picture this: You’re driving home after a relaxed dinner with friends. You had a glass of wine—maybe a little more—but nothing you believed would impair you. Then flashing lights appear in your rearview mirror. A routine stop quickly escalates. The officer asks questions, conducts a field sobriety test, and before you fully process what’s happening, you’re in handcuffs. Your car is impounded. Now you stand in a courtroom facing real consequences—fines, possible jail time, a permanent mark on your record.
Your name is called. You’re ready to explain yourself—to justify, to defend, to minimize what happened. But before you can speak, your appointed defender rises and calmly says:
“Your Honor, my client does not stand here on the basis of their own account, but on a matter of identity. There has been a substitution.”
The judge pauses, reviews the record, and asks, “It says here—you are…
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In typical 12 step recovery circles, "Inventory" is that step everyone dreads. 12 step calls it "making a searching and fearless moral inventory" and it's often a very uncomfortable deep dive into what the "Big Book of AA" calls our physical and mental liabilities.
Thrive Discovery acknowledges that inventory is crucial to the process of healing.
But that 12 step model completely omits critical information. Simply knowing our liabilities doesn't establish our war footing, A good General would also fully inventory his assets and take a good look at the theater of operation before engaging in battle with his enemy.
Thrive starts with inventory of assets so we know what we are fighting with. Our spiritual gifts, our love languages, our God-given personality traits coupled with the promises of God, our identity in Christ as an heir, the Holy Spirit as our guide, help and comforter and the Armor…
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Author: The Team at Thrive Discovery
“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh.” — 2 Corinthians 10,3
In 12 step recovery programs, step 4 asks us to take a fearless moral inventory, digging deep into our past and present to uncover all the ways we've wronged ourselves and others. This is a vital step, to be sure. However, Thrive is about more "discovery" and invites us to go steps further to explore areas that 12 step programs may leave unrealized. A complete inventory is not just about a list of our liabilities (the wrong done to us and that we have done). A full inventory also lists our assets and does a thorough analysis of the environment.
Just as any wise military commander would never enter a battle without first studying the terrain, the climate, the enemy’s positioning, and the surrounding conditions,…