THRIVE DISCOVERY – PILLAR 9: SEEK GOD’S HELP
A Fixed Posture of Dependence Before God
CORE SCRIPTURE + DEFINITION
Philippians 2:13“God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.”
Core Definition:“We ask God to continue to sanctify us and for the grace to forgive those who have hurt us and pray for them. We also ask God to give us the grace and the courage to face the bad things we have done.”
I. OPENING: PILLAR 9 IS A POSTURE, NOT A TASK
Primary Teaching:Pillar 9 is not something you complete—it is a position you live from.
“I cannot transform myself”
“I need God’s grace to keep changing me”
“I need His help to forgive”
“I need His courage to face truth”
Teaching Point:Pillar 9 is humble dependence on God’s ongoing work.
II. THE LIFELONG POSITION: YOU DON’T GRADUATE FROM DEPENDENCE
Core Truth:Spiritual maturity is deeper dependence, not independence.
Biblical Pattern:
We are like Jacob—those who wrestle with God (Genesis 32)
We overcome through Him, not apart from Him
Clarification:
The goal is not the absence of struggle
The goal is transformation within the struggle
Teaching Point:“You don’t outgrow your need for God—you grow deeper into it.”
III. THE CORE LIE: SELF-SUFFICIENCY
False Narrative:“If I try hard enough, I can fix myself.”
How it shows up:
Over-reliance on willpower
Behavior control without heart change
Quiet pride masked as discipline
Biblical Correction:
John 15:5 — “Apart from Me you can do nothing”
Romans 7:18 — No good thing in the flesh
IV. THE THRIVE DISTINCTION: TRANSFORMATION VS. SELF-IMPROVEMENT
Self-Improvement
“I fix me”
Behavior-focused
Leads to exhaustion or pride
Spiritual Transformation
God transforms me
Identity-first change
Sustained by grace
Key Truth:God is not asking you to fix yourself—He is transforming you.
V. THE TENSION: GOD’S POWER + OUR SURRENDER
Philippians 2:13
God gives:
Desire
Power
We respond with:
Surrender
Willingness
Obedience (of the heart first)
Teaching Point:“God provides the power. We provide the yes.”
VI. NOT PERFECTION—WILLINGNESS TO BE PERFECTED
Thrive Distinctive:
God is not asking for perfection.He is asking for us to become willing to be perfected (by Him).
Willingness looks like:
Willing to be corrected
Willing to forgive
Willing to face truth
Willing to let God change you
Key Point:The goal is not moral performance.The goal is obedient humility.
VII. ACCEPTING THE STRUGGLE (WITH PURPOSE)
Teaching Point:Struggle is not failure—it is where God works.
Balance:
We do not glorify struggle
We do not deny struggle
We invite God into it
Scripture:
2nd Corinthians 12:9 — Power in weakness (My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness).
Galatians 5:17 — Internal conflict (For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh).
Teaching Point:“We are not failing because we struggle. We fail when we stop surrendering.” Dr. Neil T. Anderson
VIII. THE THREE CORE PRAYERS OF PILLAR 9
1. Prayer for Continued Sanctification
“God, continue Your work in me.”
Psalm 51:10
Philippians 1:6
Focus: Direction over perfection
2. Prayer for Grace to Forgive
“God, give me grace to forgive and pray for those who have hurt me.”
Remember:
Forgiveness is not:
Denying pain
Excusing harm
Forgiveness is:
Releasing the debt
Trusting God with justice
Key Insight:Unforgiveness keeps you spiritually stuck.
3. Prayer for Courage to Face the Truth
“God, give me courage to face what I’ve done and the courage to embrace who I really am, who You made me to be.”
Teaching Line:“The grace to face the truth is part of the grace to heal and it includes the truth about our true identity in Christ.”
IX. PILLAR 9 AS A FIXED POSITION NOT A STEP
We continually:
Ask God for help
Ask God to change us
Ask for grace
Ask for courage
Ask for clarity
Teaching Point:“Pillar 9 is not a one-time decision. It is a daily posture.”
X. CONTRAST: HUMILITY VS. SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS
Self-Righteous Posture
“I’ve got this”
“I can handle it”
“I’ve improved enough”
Humble Posture
“Lord, help me”
“Keep changing me”
“I need You today”
XI. DAILY PRACTICE (THRIVE RHYTHM)
Morning Surrender“God, I cannot do this without You.”
Midday Check-InWhere am I relying on myself?
Evening ReflectionWhere did I resist God?Where did I depend on Him?
Forgiveness PracticeName → Release → Pray blessing
XII. GROUP DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Where are you still trying to fix yourself?
What does real dependence on God look like in your life right now?
Who do you need grace to forgive?
What truth do you need courage to face?
XIII. FINAL EXHORTATION
God is not asking you to become strong enough to fix yourself from here on.He is inviting you to become dependent enough to be continuously transformed by Him.
“Pillar 9 is a posture of dependence, not performance. We are not becoming self-made people—we are becoming surrendered people.”
CLOSING PRAYER
“Father, we acknowledge that we cannot change ourselves. Thank You that You are working in us, giving us both the desire and the power to do what pleases You. Teach us to depend on You daily. Give us grace to forgive, courage to face the truth, and hearts that remain soft before You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Pillar 9 in Thrive differs from many 12-step approaches in a few key ways:
It is explicitly Christ-centered. Thrive frames this as asking God to sanctify us and give us grace, rather than speaking in broad “higher power” language.
It is a posture, not just an action step. Pillar 9 is presented as a fixed position of dependence on God, not a self-improvement task to complete.
It is forward-looking. It prepares the heart for the next pillar, Amends , so any righting of past wrongs comes from humility and obedience, not guilt, image management, or self-righteousness.
It includes both forgiveness and courage. Thrive emphasizes asking God for grace to forgive those who hurt us, pray for them, and also face the wrongs we have done.
It’s about sanctification, not just behavior change. The focus is on God continuing to work in us, giving us both the desire and power to do what pleases Him.
“Many recovery programs treat this as a step we do. Thrive treats it as a place we live—daily dependence on God as He sanctifies us, softens our hearts, and prepares us to make things right where possible.”