THRIVE DISCOVERY • DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS
The Cut of Familiarity
Teaching Outline
“After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.” — Matthew 6:9
Before we begin
A Thrive Discovery Teaching Session
Before We Begin
This teaching may not be for the most difficult relationships in your life. If someone has deeply wounded you, this is not a message that you haven't done enough to restore that relationship, or that the pain you carry is your fault. For some of us, there is simply too much water under the bridge — too much pain, too much history. Sometimes distance is wisdom, and that is between you and God.
This teaching is about something else: opening our hearts to grow healthier relationships going forward. Here's why that matters. When someone has hurt us deeply, we learn to recognize their characteristics — a tone of voice, a way of deflecting, a certain kind of self-focus. And when we see something similar in someone new, we tend to shut them out…
There is a reason predators hunt the way they do. A lion doesn't necessarily begin by attacking the strongest animal in the herd. The predator looks for vulnerability and separation. It looks for the animal that has become disconnected from the protection of the group. Once the animal is separated, the battle changes. The herd may still be nearby, but the isolated animal is now fighting alone.
There is a spiritual principle here that we cannot afford to miss: isolation makes us vulnerable.
Our enemy does not have to destroy us immediately. Sometimes he only needs to separate us from the people who know us, love us, tell us the truth, notice when something has changed, pray for us, and would show up at our house to ask, “You don't seem like yourself. What's going on?” Once we are alone, the lies become much easier to…
DEATH BY 1000 CUTS
There is a kind of wound that is particularly difficult to recognize because, at first glance, it doesn't look like a wound at all. It looks like service. It looks like sacrifice. It looks like commitment. It looks like being the person who always shows up, always says yes, always stays late, always carries the load, and always does what needs to be done when nobody else seems willing to do it. Sometimes it really is those things. That is what makes the cut of martyrdom so sneaky.
The martyr isn't necessarily lazy. In fact, he may be the hardest-working person in the room. He may be dependable, generous, sacrificial, and willing to go the extra mile. He may be the person everybody calls when something needs to be fixed. He may spend enormous amounts of time and energy doing things for other people, and everyone around…