Thrive Pillar 8: Ask God for Change
Theme: Repentance, healing, surrender, and transformation
1. Opening Statement
Change is not just about trying harder. In Thrive, we believe real change begins when we turn from what is broken, invite God into the wound, and allow Him to shape our future. Pillar 8 is where we stop negotiating with the old life and start asking God to do what only He can do: heal, sanctify, and transform us. This is not shallow self-improvement. This is spiritual renewal.
2. Key Teaching Idea
Pillar 8 means:
· We repent. Not only from behavior but from the belief that caused unhealthy coping.
· We ask God to heal the wounds of our past. Trauma drives beliefs. Beliefs drive behaviors.
· We surrender our present and future to His direction.
· We trust Him to change us from the inside out. Inviting Jesus into the trauma of our past allows us to change the belief (lies: I am not worthy, I am not good enough) that came from it and behavior follows.
This fits Thrive’s core belief that healing is not just the removal of bad habits; it is the DIScovery of the root issues and the restoration of identity in Christ.
3. Foundational Scriptures
· Psalm 51:10 – “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”
· Romans 12:2 – “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind...”
· Acts 3:19 – “Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out...”
· John 16:8 – The Spirit convicts of sin, righteousness, and judgment
· Philippians 2:13 – God works in us to will and to do His good pleasure
· 2 Corinthians 5:17 – If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation
· Philippians 1:6 – He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion
4. Change begins with repentance
Repentance isn't remorse; it's a turn. It's agreeing with God about the direction we've been heading and choosing a different way. People often confuse guilt with repentance, but guilt alone changes nothing. Repentance is not just feeling bad. It is: turning away from sin (actions and beliefs) and turning toward God (and who He says He is and who we are). Repentance is surrendering to God’s will and plan for our life. Is He your savior and LORD? Repentance is agreeing with God and leaving the old direction.
In Thrive, repentance is a doorway, not a performance. We are not trying to impress God with remorse. We are asking Him to redirect our lives.
Emphasis:
· Repentance is honesty before God
· Repentance breaks agreement with lies
· Repentance opens the door to transformation
5. God heals the wounds behind the behavior
Thrive recognizes that visible struggles typically come from invisible pain. This is where the real work happens.
The issue is not only the behavior: anger, addiction, fear (anxiety), control, isolation, shame
Often beneath the behavior are: wounds, lies, traumas, unmet needs, identity confusion
A man who rages didn't learn that from nowhere. A woman caught in cycles of control didn't invent that strategy. These are survival mechanisms born from wounds. Pillar 8 asks God to heal those deeper places. We are not just asking God to help us stop acting out. We are asking Him to heal what made us vulnerable in the first place.
6. God must direct our present and future
Pillar 8 is also about surrender. We do not just ask God to fix the past. We ask Him to rule the now and guide the future.
That means:
· letting Him shape our choices
· trusting His timing
· obeying even when we do not understand
· releasing control
Thrive application:
If we keep trying to control the outcome, we remain stuck in the same patterns. But if we let God lead, change becomes possible. This is something most people resist fiercely. We want God to heal the past and then let us drive the future. That's not surrender; that's negotiation. Real change means releasing the steering wheel. That's hard, but it's a non-negotiable.
7. Change is different from behavior management
This is one of Thrive’s biggest distinctions.
Traditional recovery may ask:
· How do I manage this behavior?
· How do I stay sober?
· How do I avoid relapse?
Thrive asks:
· What is beneath the behavior?
· What lie am I believing?
· What wound has not been healed?
· Who am I in Christ?
Thrive does not reject accountability or discipline. But it insists that lasting change must go deeper than behavior control. Thrive does not just ask, ‘How do I stop?’ Thrive asks, ‘What needs to be healed so that I can be free?”
8. Forgiveness prepares us for change
Pillar 8 comes after forgiveness for a reason. Remember, unforgiveness is a major block to real change. We can't ask God to transform us while we’re still chained to bitterness. Bitterness and unforgiveness:
· harden the heart
· distort our view of God and others
· feed resentment
· keep us tied to the past
When we extend forgiveness, we release some of the spiritual weight that would otherwise block healing.
Important Note: Forgiveness does not mean everything is okay. It means we are no longer carrying the debt as our burden.
9. God’s change is inward before it is outward
Real change starts in the heart: mind, motives, desires, beliefs, identity.
Then it begins to show outwardly: in our words, in our reactions, in our relationships, in our habits and in our peace.
That is why this pillar is so important. If the inside does not change, the outside only changes temporarily.
Scripture connection:
· Romans 12:2 — renewed mind
· 2 Corinthians 3:18 — transformed from glory to glory
10. Change is a process
· It requires continued prayer
· It requires a posture of humility
· It requires a posture of surrender
· a requires repeated returning to God
Sometimes we ask for change and then discover we need to ask again tomorrow. That is not failure. That is discipleship. This is what healing looks like.
Reminder:
· This is progress over perfection.
· This is surrender over control.
· This is transformation not image management.
11. Compare and Contrast with Traditional 12-Step
Traditional 12-step often emphasizes:
admitting powerlessness
making amends
accountability
sobriety
behavior change
Thrive emphasizes:
identity in Christ
root causes
repentance
healing
forgiveness
Spirit-led transformation
Traditional recovery may help us manage the issue. Thrive aims to uncover the issue, surrender it to Christ, and let God change the person.
12. Group Discussion Questions
1. What does “ask God for change” mean to you personally?
2. Where do you need repentance, not just resolution?
3. What wounds from the past still affect your present?
4. Are you asking God to change your behavior, or your heart?
5. What area of control do you need to surrender?
6. How does identity in Christ change your view of healing?
7. What is one thing you need to bring before God this week?
13. Practical Application
· God, change my thinking about...
· God, heal the wound behind...
· God, I surrender my control over...
· God, I no longer want to live in agreement with...
· God, help me trust You with my future in...
14. Closing Declaration
Pillar 8 is where we stop trying to manage our brokenness and start asking God to make us new. We repent, we surrender, and we trust that the One who began a good work in us will bring it to completion. When we remain surrendered to the process, God does not merely improve us—He transforms us.
15. Closing Encouragement
If you are feeling stuck in your healing process, remember, you are not stuck because change is impossible. It is simply beyond your control, outside of your plans, not dependent on your ability. You are being invited into the kind of change only God can produce. Ask Him. Trust Him. Let Him heal you.