TRAUMA RESPONSES — FOCUS ON FREEZE
Theme Scripture“Be still, and know that I am God.” – Psalm 46:10Stillness born out of trauma is different from stillness rooted in trust. God invites us into the kind of stillness that brings restoration, not paralysis.
Understanding Trauma Responses
Trauma responses are instinctive reactions to perceived threat. They are not choices—they are survival mechanisms wired into the nervous system. When we experience trauma or prolonged stress, these responses can become default ways of navigating life, even after the danger, threat, conflict or stressful situation is gone. No one has a single trauma response though you may have one that is more dominant. Identifying these common responses will help us to discover why we tend to react the way we do to certain situations.
Trauma responses are appropriate in certain situations. For example: If you find yourself in a dangerous situation, a large man approaching in a dark alley, this is a good time for FLIGHT. Not FIGHT (unless you are prepared and trained as a fighter), not FREEZE. However when the situation calls for FREEZE and SUBMIT like each time you’re having a conversation about finances with your spouse and your response is FIGHT or FLIGHT… we get stuck in our trauma response…. Because it’s not a choice.
Here are the most common trauma responses:
FIGHT
Definition: Confronting or attacking the threat.Behaviors: Anger, defiance, controlling actions.Example: Yelling or arguing when feeling misunderstood or vulnerable.
FLIGHT
Definition: Escaping or avoiding the threat.Behaviors: Anxiety, overworking, avoidance, withdrawal.Example: Becoming excessively busy to avoid dealing with pain.
FREEZE (Tonight’s Focus)
Definition: Shutting down emotionally or physically in response to overwhelm.Behaviors: Numbness, mental fog, inaction, disconnection.Example: Being unable or unwilling to respond or speak when confronted or stressed.
FAWN
Definition: Appeasing to avoid conflict or harm.Behaviors: People-pleasing, lack of boundaries, over-agreeableness.Example: Saying “yes” when you mean “no” to keep peace.
FRANTIC (Unique Addition)
Definition: Chaotic, panicked reaction without direction.Behaviors: Scattered activity, impulsiveness, rushed decisions.Example: Overreacting to minor stress as if it were life-threatening.
SUBMIT
Definition: Emotional collapse and resignation to perceived danger.Behaviors: Learned helplessness, powerlessness, giving up.Example: Staying in an abusive relationship because it feels “normal” or you believe or have been convinced you have no other choice.
Church teaching, religious or cultural norms may play a significant role.
TEND & BEFRIEND
Definition: Seeking safety through connection and care.Behaviors: Caretaking, forming attachments quickly, “fixing” others.Example: Becoming overly responsible for others in moments of stress.
FOCUS: THE FREEZE RESPONSE
Key Traits:
Feeling emotionally stuck, foggy, or numb.
Inability to act, respond, or speak under pressure.
Disassociation from your body, environment, or emotions.
Chronic indecision or passivity.
Emotional withdrawal in relationships or conflict.
Biological Basis:
Freeze occurs when the brain doesn’t perceive fight or flight as safe or effective. The dorsal vagal system (a part of your autonomic nervous system) takes over, placing the body in a state of protective paralysis.
SPOTLIGHT: FREEZE & RUMINATING
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” – Isaiah 43:18–19
Ruminating is a cognitive expression of the freeze response. It keeps the mind trapped in the past, reprocessing the same hurt, trying to understand, rewrite, or solve something that may never have closure.
Definition:
Lingering hurt or regret that keeps the mind stuck in a loop, trying to process what happened.
What Happens:
The brain keeps replaying situations, seeking closure or a different outcome.
The mind fixates on a past or future scenario in an attempt to regain control.
The brain, wired to solve problems, gets stuck when there’s no immediate solution.
Focusing on thoughts over feelings becomes a form of emotional avoidance.
Common Signs of Rumination:
“What if…” or “If only…” thought loops.
Rehearsing past conversations or future conflicts.
Feeling exhausted by your own thoughts.
Difficulty sleeping or letting go of past events.
Pathways Toward Healing
Name the State: Acknowledge when you're frozen or stuck in a loop.
Engage the Body: Grounding techniques (breathing, walking, stretching).
Connect to Emotion: Move from thinking to feeling.
Reframe Spiritually: Ask, “Where was Jesus in this memory?” or “What truth does God speak over this situation?” John Eldridge: Knowing Jesus Really “inviting Jesus into the moment.”
Restore Safety: Seek connection and community where you are seen and safe.
PERSONAL REFLECTION: 25 QUESTIONS TO EXPLORE FREEZE
“Search me, O God, and know my heart… lead me in the way everlasting.” – Psalm 139:23–24
Use these prompts to help identify if the freeze response is dominant in your life. Reflect honestly and prayerfully.
Am I stuck?
If so, is it a trauma response?
Am I currently in a FREEZE state?
What does it feel like when I’m in FREEZE mode?
Do I feel emotionally numb or disconnected from my body or feelings?
When I'm overwhelmed, do I tend to shut down or “check out”?
Do I replay the same situations over and over in my head?
Am I trying to solve a problem that has no current solution?
Do I dwell more on thoughts than emotions?
Is overthinking how I avoid feeling?
What emotions might I be avoiding by staying in my head?
Do I try to control or rewrite the past in my mind?
When did I first learn to freeze?
What’s the earliest memory I have of emotionally or physically shutting down?
Did I feel unsafe expressing emotion as a child?
Was freezing the only way I knew to stay safe?
Was there a time when being invisible felt like the only option?
How does FREEZE show up in my life today?
Do I avoid decisions or delay action out of fear or overwhelm?
Do I find myself stuck in the same cycles repeatedly?
Are there relationships or situations I disconnect from emotionally?
What kind of things trigger my FREEZE response now?
What does my body feel like when I’m in FREEZE mode?
Have I mistaken my FREEZE response for laziness, apathy, or weakness?
What would it look like to bring Jesus into my freeze response and invite healing?